Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Factscinator's avatar

🔥 NOW HIRING: DEATHCARE STRATEGIST 👹🪬💀👋

Location: Canada

Department: Ministry of Final Solutions

Term: Permanent (Your victims won’t be) 💀

Are you passionate about reducing overhead by removing heads? Do you dream of a future where the biggest burden on the healthcare system—the living—is finally dealt with? Then congratulations, you're exactly the kind of morally flexible technocrat we're hunting!💀

Join the Canadian Government’s bold and progressive MAiD Division™ as we revolutionize healthcare with a simple motto: "Why treat the sick, when you can just make them disappear?"👋👍😀

Key Responsibilities:

🧼 Rebrand eugenics with warm, inclusive language: "compassionate exits," "dignity pathways," "cost-effective compassion."

🎯 Target vulnerable demographics: chronically ill, mentally distressed, confused teens, and the financially inconvenient.

📈 Upsell MAiD™ packages like you're pushing a premium Netflix subscription. Bonus points for reaching monthly offing quotas.

🧠 Groom adolescents into believing death is self-care (TikTok skills a plus).

💸 Partner with Wall Street to securitize euthanasia futures. Imagine the profit potential when mortality becomes a market index.

💉 Champion ’mRNA’ mandates, ensuring everyone gets a chance at our "End of Life Express" program — whether they want it or not.

Perks: 🏔️ All-expenses-paid retreat to Davos to brainstorm population control strategies with like-minded elites over sustainably farmed foie gras.

🌏More living space for you and The Elect™ once the surplus are managed.

💉 Complimentary subscription to the MAiD Insider™ newsletter — stay updated on quotas, incentives, and best practices in dignified disposal.

🛡️ Immunity from prosecution.

👹👍 Apply today — because in Canada’s hellthcare future, someone’s got to play God. Might as well be you.✝️👹

Canada is an equal opportunity executioner. Applicants from marginalized backgrounds especially encouraged to help trim their own communities first.

Timothy Tobin's avatar

Ohhh Canada…! SHAME…! ! !

48 more comments...

No posts

Ready for more?