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Leslie's avatar

Just as many of us suspected and expressed concern about, but were ridiculed and dismissed. Where’s the accountability when health bureaucrats run wild with harmful ideas, and politicians enjoy the extra power to subvert the citizen?

Factscinator's avatar

🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨

Researchers at Limited Hangout Labs have achieved the impossible — engineering a toxic jab so astonishingly miraculous that it can code for a spike protein from a virus never shown to exist, using DNA never proven to exist, smuggled across cell membranes by Life-Neutralizing Particles™, and guided with pinpoint precision by cell organelles known only as colourful artefacts of heavy-metal staining 🧬👻

At a jubilant press conference this morning, the team expressed uncontainable delight at their breakthrough in pure narrative engineering, praising their fiction’s ability to terrify large swathes of the health-freedom movement with a single press release — all while ensuring no one ever strays into the forbidden realm of the methods section. 📄🙈 “If people started reading how ‘viruses’ and ‘DNA’ are actually 'isolated,' one scientist whispered excitedly, “the whole spell would collapse.”

The announcement concluded with assurances that future updates will include computer-generated sequences, poisoned cell cultures, and just enough jargon to sound authoritative, with critics encouraged to admire the headlines, trust the cartoons, and never — under any circumstances — ask where the thing itself can be found 🔍❌

✨ The 'Science' marches on. Please remain afraid. ✨

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