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🚨BREAKING NEWS: Putin’s Unshaken Reaction to Submarine Shenanigans! 🌊🛳️😎

[MOSCOW — LIVE]

🎥 Cue dramatic music... cut to a close-up of Putin sipping tea while shirtless on a Siberian bear rug.

🗞️ANCHOR: "In response to U.S. President Donald Trump’s announcement that he’s deployed two nuclear submarines closer to Russia—because of a fiery Medvedev post—President Vladimir Putin has issued a bold and deeply emotional statement…"

📜PUTIN'S STATEMENT:

"Ah yes... two submarines. How terrifying. Shall I cancel my judo class?"

🎤Cut to Kremlin press room, where journalists try to ask questions but are too busy laughing.

🧊Putin continued:

"We thank America for reminding us they still float. Impressive, considering their Navy now runs on TikTok trends and flammable Tesla batteries."

👨‍🏭Russian defense analyst weighs in:

"The U.S. economy can’t even manufacture a toaster without outsourcing. But sure, let’s pretend they’re ready for a naval war. Two submarines? That’s what we call a Tuesday."

🇷🇺Meanwhile, in Sevastopol, a Russian sailor yawns and mutters:

"Tell us when they send three. Then we’ll raise an eyebrow."

🎮Putin later livestreamed a game of Battleship with the caption:

"B2? Miss. You sank your own credibility."

📺COMING UP NEXT:

Is America’s ’Submarine Diplomacy’ just the latest fast-food export—bland, bloated, and mostly bread?

🍽️Stay tuned after the break for Cooking with Oligarchs — today’s recipe:

"How to try and boil Russia in sanctions and still gorge on their caviar while puffing embargoed Cubans."

👋🏼This has been FAKE NEWS 24/7 — where even the Lame Street Media Whorepedoes are laughing.

Alamo Dude's avatar

Debbie BlabberMouth Schultz lets Paki Intel have access to DNC servers. And 25 Democrat Congressional computers. Paki Intel being the Taliban. Unsecured and hacked, sitting in a bathroom in Colorado. Obammy, Otto Penn Joe, Rice, Powers, Hildie, et al All communicating on them with pseudonyms. Per the Horowitz IG report. Each intentional email an felony violation of the Espionage Act. Even though intention is not in the statue, Comey just made that Hillary excuse up. VP Otto Penn Joe outs SEAL Team Six for bin Laden. While the CIA are trying to round up Hillary’s Gaddafi stinger anti aircraft missiles set loose to Jihadis before Benghazi 9-11. “What difference does it make now?” Well, after all that, SEAL Team Six was shot down by stinger missiles in their worst “ambush” ever. In Afghanistan. As the team that linked Iran to al Qaeda with bin Laden documents was killed off. Because to give an enemy Congress declared war with after 9-11 comfort and aid, $150 Billion in unfrozen assets and $1 billion cash on pallets, would be statutory Treason.

As NRO anti Trumpster Andy McCarthy pointed out at the time, nothing can happen, because it all implicates Obama. Even now Andy is spiking his ball in the end zone. Except Orange Man Bad got Obama his SCOTUS get out of jail free card. So DoJ can finally tie up the decade long Grand Conspiracy below Obama, with out worrying about Obama in orange. And the legacy’s of Obama’s 3 terms including Otto Penn Joe are toast.

“Matt Taibbi: All right, and so just so everyone’s clear on what this is, this is a human source giving material that appears to, it’s a Russian analysis of conversations between Debbie Wasserman Schultz and a pair of people from the Open Society Foundation.”

Aka George and Alex Soros and Huma Abedin. Funder$ of BLM and ICE riots.

https://www.racket.news/p/transcript-america-this-week-august-45b?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1042&post_id=169796703&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=2aq0gw&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email

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