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Factscinator's avatar

😷💉 New Jab Promo!

Roll up your sleeve for the latest ‘safe & effective’ marvel— bonus features include:

😮‍💨 Shortness of breath (perfect excuse to avoid cardio)

🤧 Dry cough (great way to clear a room at family gatherings)

😴 Fatigue (who doesn’t want a medical reason to nap all day?)

🌡️🔥 Fever (because who needs saunas when your body can self-heat?)

And for our premium long-term subscribers: 🫁 Pulmonary fibrosis! That’s right, folks—scarred lungs, the collector’s edition prize you never asked for! 🎁

Big Harma: turning side effects into lifestyle upgrades since forever!

jsinton's avatar

Gee, do people still go to the doctor to get well?

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